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I just had an interesting bebate on drugs with Billy. Hmmm

I revamped my journal style once again. I just didnapos;t like the butterflies anymore...And it clashed with everything else. So Voila

There are a lot of things Iapos;ve always been really interested in for years and I never even thought about devoting a lot of time into it...That is: art.

I always used to draw constantly. Just as much as I would write. But I think I was embaressed by my anime stlye, so I was always afraid to show people, and I ended up stopping. I didnapos;t think it would go anywhere. And as much as people encouraged me to continue, I stopped because I knew that it was smarter/more practical to seek a career in something you are guarenteed to make money off of.

Iapos;m not saying Iapos;m suddenly going to become an art major.
But Iapos;m going to try to continue to do things I love, only differently...
Iapos;ve started making graffiti stencils on photoshop, which I plan to tag somewhere once I get money. (Iapos;ll start off in my bedroom and not-illegal-places. Lol)
And I wish I could do Silk Screening. One day...When I have a place of my own.

Plus I want to get a good camera and form a portfolio. Again, thatapos;s something thatapos;s a long way off. But itapos;s nice to think about.
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Ok, so I have a lot of dolls, most are mature sculpts, normally when I post them here or on DoA I tend to get a lot of comments, even on my girl, I also am an American Face up artist but I noticed that when I post any Volks dolls here or on DoA( I know they are not to everyoneapos;s tastes ) I tend to get less comments and I was wondering if it has the fact that the face ups were not done by a JP Artist. I am not whining by any means because I know my work is somewhat popular but I only notice this with the Volks molds and I am just really curious.

I have seen people post Volks molds on DoA done by JP artists or even Asian Artists in general and get tons of comments. I find this very interesting and very challenging.

I also have been doing research and talking to friends about this and how different the doll hobby and market is in JP. I am not generalizing at all but for the most part. I also have noticed that a lot of popular JP face up artists tend to stick with one doll company or maybe branch out to 2. I also noticed that from blogs (from Dolpas) and sites I have seen they have access to soooo much more unique custom stuff ie: clothes, shoes, hats, wigs, jewelry...I can go on and on. The Dolpa pics I have seen in JP are much different than the Dolpa I had attended here in the States.

I also have seen a lot of JP face up artists have several rare dolls they do up and sell on YJ where as here itapos;s nearly impossible to find these dolls but they seem to have a few O_O now I know they have access to all the Dolpas but I guess I just wish we had more access to these types of things here in the States.


This is not to offend anyone but I am just fascinated by this whole hobby as a face up artist and am inspired everyday by face up artists from all over

I also would like to know how does one go about finding the right face up artist for you?

1. Do you ask friends who did their doll or who they recommend?
2. Do you see dolls in person?
3. Do you look at the commission able threads on DoA?
4. Do you lack cash so have new people do them free for you?
5. Are you really picky about who does your dolls face?
6. Would you rather do it yourself because you do not trust anyone else?
7. Will you hire only a famous Asian face up artist?
8. Is there another doll that speaks to you and you want that artist to do your doll also?

Sorry for so many questions but this is all so interesting to me

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Well, thought Iapos;d clear house on my old LJ so that thereapos;s a bit of a fresh start, the old textual drama has been burned for a renewable source of energy for third-world servers. Yay.

So a bit of different news for those Iapos;ve lost contact with a while back and for the new ones...Now I work at Starbucks full-time as a Barista, making the quality coffee a vast majority of the nation is addicted too, kind of feels like being an apron wearing drug dealer. Its a decent job with quite a bit of nice people to work with, although a vast majority is either gay or a girl...not a bad thing, just kind of...like a sitcom cast at times.� Still waiting to see who has a baby, or discovers love through the drive-thru.

College is a happeninapos; with online courses, not too bad at all, pretty easy to keep up with it. Though between work and those its hard to find time to socialize with the Furs around here, but not complaining.� Budgeting expenses is more important; spread sheets have been alright, Office Space mislead me with their joys of office work =( Filth and Lies�
The closer of the Furs (X<15 miles) have been keeping me pretty sane, just missing the big meets yet...lately San Antonio has had a huge influx of cubs (X<18 yrs. Old).� Its a difficult thing to relate to a young age group that...makes you feel much older than you are and..beat-y to them =P�

Anyways, thatapos;s all for now, later Fuzzbutts



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After a week spent at home I forgot how I managed to live in the north for more than a year without going crazy. Although most of the time the independence can be something I can be proud of, I still cannot help but feel deprived when I am not at home.

My days in Katipunan normally go like this:�take out breakfast (Starbucks should consider giving me a discount--Iapos;ve subsisted on their breakfast bagels/sandwiches/nonfat lattes since college started), drive to school, go to the gym, cook dinner (or eat out with friends, rarely though), do schoolwork, watch TV, and sleep.

For the past few days my schedule has been highly unstructured, spontaneous permuations of these activities:�wake up at noon, go to the country club, eat sushi at the country club, go to Greenbelt/Powerplant/the High Street, work out at the country club, eat more sushi at the country club, and sleep. Iapos;ve even managed to read The Great Gatsby and Great Expectations (for the nth time?).

Iapos;m tempted to say this is the life, but I really know that this is not really my life, at least not for majority of the year (and not for the next two years). But I really cannot help but think how much things have changed over the past two years.
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My phoneapos;s off.� its going to stay off till monday when i need to call michael and tell him when iapos;m going in to work.�

i turned off the AIM�forwarding to my phone.� i donapos;t want to be bothered.� not anymore.�

ya iapos;m mad, and its going to stay that way.� i honestly had some thoughts, just maybe, but i guess i was just believing in false hopes.� it seems that is all that my little life is comprised of.� it doesnapos;t hurt as much as it used to.� it only hurts a little more out of the norm when its someone new in my life.� than after so much it gets normal.� all it does is hurt as the same as the rest.�

iapos;m tempted to delete the games on my laptop.� iapos;ve stopped playing, theyapos;ve stopped being fun.� i canceled my warhammer.� josh pays my wow one, iapos;ve asked him to stop a long time ago, i guess its his choice.�

i think iapos;m going to spend my weekend in my room.� just laying in bed, ignoring the world around me.� i have one thing to do, i need to pick up some cheap razors.� the only good thing that winter brings,�warm clothes. �i can at least attempt to make my arms match.� iapos;m done.� i canapos;t handle anything anymore.� i donapos;t have a significant other i have to hide any marks from.� makes things a lot easier.�

soon iapos;ll turn my phone on one more time before i turn off my laptop and phone completely.� iapos;m going to send you a text.� itapos;ll tell you to read this, itapos;ll be the last time you can, this will be last thing you will see.� iapos;m still going to write, but for mostly only my eyes.� otherwise the dates beyound this one are going to be blank to you.�

i just canapos;t take anymore of this, and iapos;m not going to tolerate it either.� i donapos;t think anyone has ever taken me completely serious when i tell them i want to disappear.� or just want to go away.� its some of the nicer things that i have said, iapos;ve said more disturbing things.� nothing matters to me, all i truely want is to fall deeper in the cracks.� iapos;ll find that line the, one you cross and you canapos;t come back.� iapos;m tired of feeling so unappreciated, so misunderstood.� i canapos;t even say that i matter to myself, cause i can barely regard the idea of living.� iapos;ve had people try and tell me they are going to help.� that there is a positive side to things and everything will be ok.� but iapos;ve become the epitomy of negativity.� people think that adding themselves to my life will make it all great and cheery.� but they fail to realize that you need a smidge of happiness in your life without someone special.� you need to stand on your own, without the support of another.�

iapos;m sorry but iapos;m calling it quits.
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